Wouldn't it be awful to be a turtle?

I mean what would it be like to have a shell, right? Could you imagine walking around with a shell on your back and being like: "No no... I have a mobile home... get it... cause it's on my back." I mean geesh... if I were a turtle I'd have to carry a house around at all times on my back and everyone would look at me funny and there'd be a lot of zany explanation to do.

Of course if I were a turtle I bet every other human would be a turtle and they'd also carry houses on their back. Then it would be normal to have a house on my back and everyone would think I was weird for constantly pointing it out... because we'd all carry houses on our backs. But in that situation I don't think I'd be the weird because... well... you get what I'm trying to say?

Man, being a turtle must be hard.

Also, turtle's probably fuck weird.

DONE! FIFTEEN MINUTES ON THE MONEY!

Have you ever eaten a big meal and been like...

Have you ever eaten a big meal and been like: "uh-ohhhhh! That was a mistake!"

And then you feel all shitty for the next few days because you ate so much and keep looking back and being like: "What was I thinking! Why did I think that was a good idea!" And you and your friends keep laughing at it for no apparent reason because to you it's the funniest thing in the world because now you feel bad and before you didn't feel bad and your friends feel the same way and you laugh at how absurd life can be even though some people laugh like this after near death experiences and you just ate too much at an applebees?

You know that feeling?

Pretty crazy right?

I guess you had to have been there.

BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG!

What's the deal with orange juice?

Am I right?

It's orange and it's juice and it's... well sometimes it's pulpy and sometimes it's smooth... it really depends on what type of orange juice you buy am I right? Like Orangina is for people who like orange juice and mild pulp and fizz and... shit.

I think I fucked up this second post guys... pretty fucking pathetic.

DON'T LOOK BACK! MORE MORE MORE MORE!

What's created in 15 minutes and hilarious?

I can almost guarantee you: not this blog.

But I'll tell you one thing, it's past 11 PM, I have to go change my laundry at the laundromat at 11:30 or else they'll toss the clothes probably and I have got to get this puppy out by midnight. So it'll definitely be created in 15 minutes.

The hilarious part? That has yet to be seen... but so far the only joke I can think of is "What's the deal with Orange Juice."

Let's see this play out shall we?